


The Prettiest Sight to See

by JoachimNapoleon (UselessGoats)



Category: Alternate Universe - Fandom, Modern AU - Fandom, Napoleonic Era RPF
Genre: Christmas Decorations, Humor, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28176690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessGoats/pseuds/JoachimNapoleon
Summary: Lannes refuses to be upstaged by Murat on the battlefield... of Christmas decorations.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	The Prettiest Sight to See

Lannes is inordinately proud of the modest display of monochrome Christmas lights he's just finished putting up. He’s worked _hard_ , and he only almost fell off the roof once this year, a tremendous improvement.   
  
And then he sees Murat's Christmas light display the following night.  
  
The roof is festooned with row after row of multicolored lights-- _and he used those dangly icicle lights too, damn him_. All four trees in the Murats' front yard are also bedecked with lights, alternating in red and green rows. The Murats' terrace is draped with an elaborate evergreen garland, strewn with white lights and further embellished with giant red velvet ribbons. The capstone of the whole ensemble is a huge LED snowman perched proudly at the front of the yard, stick arms outstretched, smiling triumphantly. 

Lannes nearly chokes with rage.

He'll be damned if he's going to be shown up like _this_. Who the hell does this peacock even think he is?

Lannes goes shopping at the crack of dawn, and spends most of the day laboring feverishly.

Later that night, Murat boggles at the sudden evolution of Lannes's Christmas display. The quantity of lights seems to have tripled, enormous ribboned wreaths decorate both balconies, and Lannes has added _blinking lights_ to the three trees in his yard. A garish, inflatable Santa Claus that Murat estimates to be several inches taller than Lannes himself, now stands at the head of the sidewalk leading to Lannes's house, giving a cheerful wave.

Murat scoffs. _He can't be serious_.

The next day Lannes scowls at the sight of a delivery truck pulling into Murat’s driveway and unloading what turns out to be a nearly twenty-foot-long ensemble of an inflatable Santa in a sleigh, pulled by three inflatable reindeer. _And the whole thing lights up, because of course it fucking does.  
  
_ His wife Louise chuckles at his side. "What a silly creature he is."

Lannes doesn't chuckle back.

The following day, he drives for two hours one-way to procure three of the giant inflatable, illuminated polar bears he'd found online at three o'clock in the morning, and picks up a couple of illuminated penguins for good measure. After setting them up, he ties a scarf around each one, and places a wool winter hat on each head. _Take that, you bastard._

"Does he really think he's going to win this?" Murat asks Caroline later that evening.

Caroline merely smirks.

Lannes grimly monitors the unusual activity outside the Murat house throughout the next day with arms crossed. _What the devil is he setting up?_ Lannes can't tell. There are multiple, strange looking little devices, including some weird orb-like thing Lannes has never seen before. Occasionally Murat casts an amused glance over toward Lannes' house. Lannes glowers back. 

He notices no immediate change when Murat's display turns on at seven o'clock. Studying it closely for several minutes, he feels a shiver of tentative delight. _Have I... won?_

Almost as soon as the thought enters his mind, Murat's house suddenly seems to explode with light. Multiple strobe lights activate simultaneously under every tree, flashing red, green, blue, and white at such a frenetic pace that Lannes is certain the entire scene now constitutes an epileptic hazard. But that isn't all. Somehow Murat has worked in a laser light show, and Lannes's jaw practically hits the floor at the sight of what seems to be hundreds of swirling little red and green dots floating through the air. Louise is beside him now, staring at the display in stunned silence.

Suddenly the lights go out. 

_All_ the lights. Murat's light display, the lights inside his home, the lights inside Lannes's home, and all the lights of all the neighboring houses as far down the block as Lannes can see. The entire gated community is now smothered in darkness. 

  
***

"I've gotta give it to you," Lannes concedes the next morning, "that was a pretty sweet display last night, however brief."

"Thank you," Murat says graciously, giving a little bow. "We try. And, you weren't doing too badly yourself."

"You two imbeciles," Napoleon grumbles, watching the electric company truck driving back up the block. "Must you always compete at _everything_?"  
  
"Yes," Lannes and Murat answer simultaneously.

Napoleon sighs, rubbing his temples.

And it wasn't even December yet.

***End***


End file.
